Dear All Staff,
I just want to let you know what a super duper job you guys are doing and you're the best staff in the whole wide world. Oh, also I need you to take care of the cobwebs in the corner of the basement closet. I mean, like, they've been there WAY too long. Remember, we have families and social workers coming in here. We need to make sure we ALWAYS project a super positive image.
Also staff, I don't know who forgot to sign one of the leisure records but that was way, way, way, way out of line. I want us all to be friends and I don't want to have to write anyone up, so please don't force me to. That would make me feel sooooo icky inside, and who wants to feel icky? Not me!
Also staff, easter is coming up and you know what that means!!! Time for family and those pretty baskets and bows and colored eggs for our guys. Oops! Did I just write "colored"? Well, I said colored eggs NOT colored people because I just would never, ever, never say that because we had a colored family in my church once, and they were so welcome. I do think I recall telling you guys to dust off the pink bunny suits for the clients. You know how BAD they'll feel if they don't get to frolic in their hoppy floppy bunny suits while they look for easter eggs filled with special candy treats. I know you know how much it means to them. Yay!
Also staff, I heard that B took a little poopers in his pantsies at the day program. I'd like to know who was working that morning. Remember, this is what happens when we don't follow the BM schedule that I see no one has charted on in two whole days. I know we can do better. Yay!
Also staff, I'm noticing that Brownie and Scoopers are pee peeing everywhere again and it is really starting to get icky downstairs. Brownie is getting really old and she's had a super duper duper good life but sometimes you have to know when to say goodbye. Thats why I got some arsenic pellets to put in her cat food. I heard all about it on the internet. She'll go into the arms of Jesus real super quick and just convulse a little (when she does please make sure the clients aren't watching) and I think it really is her time and gosh that kitty pee is just yucky ucky. Hurray! As for Scoopers, she's not peeing all that much and I really don't think its her time yet.
Okay, that is all for now. You guys are the super bestest staff in the whole company. Just remember to do what I'm telling you and we'll all be best friends all the time and I'll come over and we'll have giggle parties and pillow fights. Yay!
--Terrorlyn
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