Wanted: Director position open at PKT

We are seeking employment for a new opening within our company; SLS Director.
Qualifications:
A B.A. in anything but Social Services.
A real motivation for self abuse.
Being able to make other managers do what you really don't want to do.
Avoiding "straight to the point" questions from staff members.
Being able to sit through many hours of meaningless meetings.
The ability to make others feel "smaller and insignificant".
Being able to fire and hire on the spot.
Being able to work 24 hour shifts, at any time.
Make less then actual managers at other human service companies.
Not caring about health insurance.
Creating fear and suspicion among group home staff.
The ability to lie to staff, clients, family members, and social service agencies for the benefit of the company.
Like to create unecccesary drama or at least participate in it.
Being able to "look busy"
Be on call 24/7.
Kiss ass to our company prophet.
Not care about giving people raises on time or vacations.
Sleepovers (at least twice a week)
Actually being a LSI staff with a bigger title.
Look like you really care.
The ability to have all "common sense" thrown out the window and believe it makes sense anyway.
The ability to be "watched" at all times by our company prophet.
The tolerance for miscommunication and dysfunction between company prophet and teh Administrator.
Having your pay docked for really stupid reasons (at least once a month).
Having an actual parking space (of course you will need to pay for it).
Endless and needless paperwork.
Constant excuse making to social service industries.
Really only filling in a employment hole, so the Adminstrator doesn't have to do it.
The ability to delude yourself that you really know anything about psychology, or mental illness.
Being mentally ill yourself.
Sign language skills optional.
Being female, under 25, with a cute butt or nice tits a plus!
Please send blood, urine, fecal samples to our HR person to be considered...oh hell, what's your name buddy...your hired!!!!